I suspect the rather dilute attendance at our September 2-3 TEXtreme Field Target weekend had something to do with folks spending Labor Day weekend with family, doing somethings other than shooting pellet guns. Regardless, the somewhat suppressed attendance had no suppressive effects on the thrill-a-minute fun and camaraderie those in attendance apparently (all) enjoyed. Aside from a few instances of Match Director near-meltdowns, no one enjoyed it more than Maggyy and me!
Thirteen shooters contested the 58 shot rifle match featuring the highest difficulties yet designed into a TEXtreme FT course. And although temperatures approached a frigid-for-September-in-Texas high of only 100 degrees, uncharacteristically light winds for Ranchito Robinson through about mid-matches contributed to higher scores than the sicko Match Director expected when laying out the tortur… I mean, “EFT course”.
Rather than covering the details of the podium-placers’ equipment choices, I’ll happily… I mean
reluctantly omit those details in the match report in deference to the spread-sheets most selflessly assembled by Art Womack.
A million thanks, Art!
A complete and utter stranger to the podium, Derrick Wall got lucky…
fifty-eight times in the sixty-shot Rifle match. His
pure, BLIND LUCK failed him only on the Standing lane, where his obvious lack of any shooting skills whatsoever stood out like a sore right thumb on a Super Bowl quarterback. What? He’s left-handed? Oh…
never mind. Derrick added to his EXTENSIVE collection of Match Winner prizes a $250 Airguns Of Arizona Match Winner gift certificate, a 24 karat gold (colored) Match Winner hat-pin, and large and small 99.99% pure silver (colored) TEXtreme Airgun Sports embossed pellet tins.
Phenomenal Shooting, Derrick! Jon Wren and I tied for Second Place in the Rifle match with 54/60 scores. Hoping to chicken-out (again) of the first tie-breaker method,
a shoot-off, I scrutinized the score-cards only to discover the tie could not be settled by the second tie-breaker since Jon and I both cleaned the Standing lane. Neither could the tie be decided by the third method, since we both cleaned six of the ten lanes. Still hoping to chicken-out of the shoot-off, I decided my chances of beating the 6’13” Greek God Of A Man named Jon Wren in the fourth and fifth tie-breakers (cage fight and pissin’ match, respectively) were not that great. At least in a shoot-off, if my training had been good enough…
of my pet scorpion to sting hell out of Daddy’s opponents, I
might prevail.
Figuring since David slayed Goliath with just a rock, I might have some, slight, fleeting chance of prevailing against Jon in a BB-gun shoot-off… with a little
well-timed ‘assistance’ from Stingaree. Suffice to say the battle of Me vs Jon was more ‘protracted’ than one imagines it takes for a rock going roughly 109 FPS to fly 40 feet and smite a giant to the ground. And although not nearly so epic a battle, our’s was as epic and PROLONGED, as this old fart cares to endure…
no thanks to Stingaree! So as to create the illusion of fairness, and thinking him easily bribed, I inflicted Match Director duties for the shoot-off on Jeff Cloud; Match Director at Arlington Sportsmans Club, another Texas field target venue. Unfortunately I misjudged Jeff’s character, as my bribe offer apparently fell on deaf ears because he announced our shoot-off would take place on one of the toughest targets on the course, that also boasts some of the trickiest winds (yes, even my targets are shameless braggards).
The 2” kill-zone prairie dog sits at 75 yards, on the opposite bank of the Raging River Of Wind. Applying the (definitely applicable) 1.25X wind multiplier to the 37.5 Troyer-difficulty target brings the OUCH factor to an intimidating 46.9T. And as if that wasn’t folly enough, Jeff then stated if the tie between Jon and I was not decided by the third round of the sudden-death shoot-off (
like that was gonna happen unless we both missed three times!), we would then go to Standing position. At that point I thought, “If Jeff thinks he’s a comedian,
he’d better not quit his day job!” However the spectators seemed WELL entertained.
Being pretty good at math, I decided a quick guesstimate at the difficulty factor from STANDING was all I cared to hazard at that particular moment... lest I go running away screaming like the little sissy I am. But for what(ever) it’s worth, the difficulty factor from Standing calculated (just now) was
70.3T! Knowing that Jon and I had both cleaned the prairie dog in the match, I figured our shoot off might last two or three rounds (from sitting position). But if so, I was certain it would then boil down to how many times from standing
we both missed before one of us eventually dropped the target.
The spectators were clearly enjoying the shoot-off more than me. Outwardly I was cool as a cucumber. Inside, “not so much”. Inside, I was dying a thousand deaths. Trying to maintain my deception, I hoped the beads on my forehead too small to notice.
When Jon and I both connected on our first shots, the spectators yipped approvals. When we each connected again, the yips became hoots. When we each nailed our third shots, the gallery went wild!
The best description I can give for the feeling of rising from my stool is ‘shock’. The best description for when I dropped the prairie dog from Standing is ‘elation’. For when Jon also dropped the dog, ‘
DEflation’!
When I dropped the target again, ‘
relief’ in knowing I’d surely prevailed. Jon connecting yet again I’d describe as something “
like a gut-shot”! So this is what they mean by ‘emotional roller-coaster’.
Upon dropping the target with my third Standing shot, ’DISBELIEF’ would be a supreme understatement. Upon Jon missing his third shot, I silently shouted “
THANK YOU LORD!” Not so much from utter joy, but for finally ending the psychological torment. That was the toughest, most hard-fought First Loser prize I’ve ever captured. Also the most gratifying.
However my performance pales compared to that of Jon Wren’s. Sunday was not only Jon’s first-ever Extreme Field Target competition, and not only did he do it with a borrowed gun, but pre-match practice with Derrick’s Delta Wolf was the first time Jon ever shot a bull-pup! To not only podium with such an alien vehicle, but then pilot it through
six rounds of such an improbably challenging shoot-off is more than a little impressive, Y’all. It’s the BB-gun equivalent of the Star Wars Starfighter dog-fight scene…
only more exciting! Great shooting, Luke… I mean, Jon. Don’t spend all that $100 AoA gift certificate in one place Buddy.
In yet another display of android-esque BB-gun shooting, Pablo ‘I Ain’t Skeered’ Bracagliano CONQUERED Sunday’s pistol course like a competitive eater inhaling a bushel basket of hot dogs! Correction- more like a robot vacuum inhaling cat-hair dust-bunnies. If you’ve never seen Pablo shoot, all I can can say is his shooting form reminds me of a well-oiled latrine; truly poultry in motion!
Once the sweat stopped pouring and the soggy Pistol score-cards came in (thanks a lot, Boys), Pablo’s awesome 55/58 score prevailed for the $250 Airguns Of Arizona Pistol Match Winner gift certificate, a 24 karat gold (colored) Match Winner hat-pin, and large and small 99.99% pure silver (colored) TEXtreme Airgun Sports pellet tins. Pablo missed only one of 50 freestyle position shots, his two other misses coming on the four-shot Standing lane. Awesome shooting Pablo; you Da Man! Correction-
part man.
The eight Pistol match entries falling one short of enough to award a second place prize, Derrick Wall’s 54/58 Second Place and Jim Clarke’s 53/58 Third deserve honorable mentions. Good shooting, Gentlemen.
All last weekend competitors received small and large 99.99% pure silver (colored) TEXtreme Airgun Sports logo-embossed
collector-grade pellet tins, deserving of a much more flattering term than
schwag. As the Match Director expressed in the Shooters Meeting, should sale of those tins not fund the recipients’ great great great grand-childrens’ retirements, the tins can be returned for full refund of the recipient’s match fees. Typical of the kind of high class on display in everything TEXtreme,
you simply can’t beat a deal like that! Oh… did I say high class? I meant high
CRASS! We also had a door-prize drawing for a 99.99% pure silver (colored) TEXtreme Airgun Sports logo-embossed insulated aluminum drinking cup. In not only a stroke of extreme great FORTUNE, but carrying on what seems to be developing as an inexplicable TEXtreme door-prize tradition, once again the right recipient won the drawing. First-time-ever FT shooter Tracy Oliver’s ticket number was the one called by my petite little Door-Prize Assistant; who’s sweet little wiggle in her walk and giggle in her talk is enough to melt the heart of any self-respecting man. Oops, correction- sweet little wiggle in HIS walk and giggle in HIS talk. Thanks for the help, Jon! But do me a favor Bud- please wash that little pink thong I loaned you before returning it. And please ADD BLEACH to the wash cycle.
Despite the fact this has happened too many times to continue playing off as coincidence, believe it or not there was no Match Director bribe involved in the door-prize drawing that (again) went to the right recipient. A higher authority than even the TEXtreme Match Director must have a hand in these happily recurring door-prize occurrences. Hope you enjoyed your first FT match, Tracy. Apologies if I spelled Tracey wrong, Bud.
Many thanks to Airguns Of Arizona for your generous support of TEXtreme efforts. And thanks to all my shooters for not only all your assistance with the matches, but enduring my bobbles, shortcomings, quirks, foibles and idiosyncrasies. All I can imagine is Y’all have the tolerance and patience of a saint.
Or are as weird as me! Happy Shooting Y’all,
Ron & Maggyy
The Rifle Podium-
P.S.- When Derrick saw this photo, no BS, he exclaimed "Damn I'm SMALL!"
Might be somewhat a matter of perspective... that perspective considerably more poignant when standing next to a 6'13" giant! No, not me; I'm only 6'7".
