Etiquette in light of someone's death...?

I'd certainly not contact them right away. Obviously they are grieving and have other important issues with which they are dealing at the present time. I don't know how much money is involved and if it's even worth it, but if you decide to reach out to them I'm sure that you'll be respectful and acknowledge their loss.

Hawkeye is spot on. 

I bought my best friend a very expensive and rare paintball gun for his wedding present. He died 3 months later. His brother got the gun. I wanted to ask for it back but couldn't. It is a no win situation. 

Wait two to three weeks to allow them to attend to the funeral arrangements and grieve. After that, they will start having to attend to the decedent’s affairs and returning your property is part of that. Of course, offer condolences and be very accommodating in the arrangements to get it returned.

My dad used to work on 30,000$ shotguns for people. He had quite a few he was working on when he passed away, among many other guns ( he was a gunsmith). A week after he died I went through all his paperwork and called each person and everyone was very polite and understanding. It also gave me something to do. If the family is aware of what u sent, they might contact you. If not, give it a couple weeks then give them a call, they wont mind Im sure. 

I would think the family would want to honor the wishes of the deceased who would want you to have your part. Give them a month or six weeks. Send a letter expressing your condolences and respectfully ask if at some time they might be able to find and return your part. You may hear from them before the six week time frame passes.

I'm going to break from the pack here a bit.

I couldn't agree more with the respect and sadness for the family loss, however I have seen WAY too many family members and close friends discard or sell off possessions in only a few days.

One of my closest friends passed away and his widow gave all of his cars to his friend who she knew was into cars. Some of them were actually owned by other people and he was working on them. He was a custom engine builder by trade.

Luckily the friend who received the cars was a stand up guy who untangled the mess as best he could and made everyone whole. This isn't always the case.

I would MUCH rather have this sort of discussion in person but I would explain that I am sorry for your loss and in no hurry of any kind but your loved one had a widget of mine that would mean very little to anyone else and a great deal to me. Insert picture or description here. 

Sometimes loved ones come in from out of the area to attend a funeral and, it may be, that his airgun collection in its totality is given to his 12 year old nephew who sure thinks they are swell. People have a lot going on and can make snap decisions based on emotion instead of thorough reflection during this initial period.

Just 2 cents.

Write them a respectful letter, but do not wait, if you do, it may be given to a neibor or a distant member of the family just to get rid of it. The surviving family members possibly have a whole house of stuff they are not familiar with that they need to get rid of for the possible sale of the house and funeral arrangements, it will be very easy for your item to get lost or stolen while you wait for them to grieve.

Realistically its of no importance to them and would likely go in a skip. Contact them and let them know you'd like it back and offer your condolences and shipping costs. 

I had a similar experience. I loaned my Welder to a friend that was down on his luck. Tooling to make Wrought iron fences, and so on. Well after not hearing from him for several months I called to find that his cell phone was turned off. Drove to his parents house to learn that he was killed in a head on accident and his parent were raising his son. His tools were sold to cover funeral expenses. So that is what I call a life experience, and I bear them no ill feelings. They dealt with a bad situation as best they could.



If he was repairing your part I would reach out right away with a condolence card and a note saying that your friend had offered to repair it for you, and than you would like to arrange to get the part back at their convenience. Just be polite.

My 2 cents worth.

Michael

Didn't you answer your own question in the second paragraph? You said you don't know them or how to contact them?

Don't wait. Be respectful but it is your property and if you do not act, the family will think its no big deal and who knows where your stuff will end up..

Didn't you answer your own question in the second paragraph? You said you don't know them or how to contact them?

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Write of call to the last known address. Someone will get it. 

How about writing a letter to the guy you sent the piece and ask him to return it back? Any, or no reason would do?

The post will arrive the family member who is taking care of the post. He/she will contact you - and you take it from there.
If they dont know you, and you dont know them, they will not know that you know he is dead......... -well you know what I mean....

All good points, guys. And I appreciate the feedback again. In this case, I do believe the wishes and spirit of the deceased were valued and honored. 

I actually heard from a family member today. I think my email must have been on the shipping label. At any rate, I was able to express my condolences in a way that was true to how I felt. And secondly, explain what was in the box/arrange it's return.



Thanks again guys.

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Guys... Read... it's been sorted out