Good Humor, what have you got.

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When I was small I was eating a bag of candy when a man passed by and saw what I was doing.

He said, “Candy is not good for you and will spoil your dinner.”

I said, “I don’t know about that but my grandfather lived to 102.”

He said, “By eating candy?”

I said, “No, by minding his own business.”
 
Dr. Epstein, a world- renowned physician, was invited back to his hometown to give a public lecture. On the evening of the talk, the auditorium was packed with friends, acquaintances, and people who were proud of their native son. He walked onto the stage in the big auditorium and placed his papers on the lectern, but they slid off and hit the floor. As he bent over to retrieve them, he inadvertently farted. Because his rear end was so close to the microphone, the amplified sound reverberated throughout the entire building. The doctor was mortified, but somehow kept his composure long enough to deliver his speech. When he was done, he raced out the stage door, vowing never to set foot in his hometown again. Decades later, he returned to visit his elderly mother, who was very ill. He arrived under cover of darkness and checked into his hotel under the name Levy.
“Is this your first visit to our town, Mr. Levy?” Asked the hotel clerk.
“No, young man” replied Dr. Epstein. “I grew up here. I moved away a long time ago, though”
“And you never visit?” The clerk inquired.
“Well, actually I did visit once, but I had a very embarrassing experience and I didn’t feel I could come back and face the people here”.
“Mr. Levy” offered the clerk, “far be it for me to give advice to such a distinguished gentleman as yourself, but one thing I’ve learned in my young life is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn’t even noticed by others. And that’s probably the case with your incident too”.
“Thank you, but I doubt that’s true of my incident” replied Dr. Epstein.
“Why? Was it a long time ago?”
“yes, it was a long time ago”.
“Oh,” said the clerk. “Was it before or after the Epstein Fart?”
 
When out hunting, your ability to remain still and quiet is advantageous. But don’t kid yourself
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Here’s an airgun related joke I posted on the forum last year:

 
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