So there I was, just minding my own business, attempting to have a nice, peaceful evening out in the cool breeze of Midland, TX, with absolutely ZERO intention of dispatching anything cute and/or furry. Nevermind that I had a fully loaded .30 cal FX Impact with JSB 44.75 grainers chambered and ready. That's not the point here. Please... Try to stay focused.
Alright then... Back to the facts...
So... I'm just sittin' there, lovin' life, God's creation and everything in it... 'cept maybe for liberal democrats. Don't hate 'em... I just don't love 'em. Anyway... I'm sittin' there, when all of a sudden, outta NOWHERE, comes these two MASSIVE, demonic-lookin' beasts... CLEARLY bent on doin' me harm!
Loaded Impact aside, I was caught COMPLETELY off-guard and unprepared. It was just like that scene from 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail', 'cept with TWO demonic bunnies! And wouldn't ya know it...? I'd left my Holy Hand Grenade in the house. You know how it is... You NEVER have it when ya need it... Anyway... Fortunately for me, I had the next best thing.
Somehow, I managed to quickly shoulder my weapon of furry demon destruction and acquire my target with impressive speed. I mean... It's not like I was already lookin' through my scope, stalkin' these creatures or anything... It wasn't that kinda night. Anyway... I caught the first one right behind the eye just before it turned and launched itself at me with a fury normally reserved for a rabid wolverine. Consequently, this sent him into a furious fit of bouncin' and kickin' around, which gave me the split second I needed to chamber another pellet in preparation for the second attack that I had no doubt was imminent.
Sure enough... Upon seein' his demon brother dispatched straight back to the fiery burrows of hell, the other ferocious monster turned and ROARED as it propelled itself at me, mouth open and teeth showin'! He was flyin' straight through the air with lightnin'-fast speed, clearly aimin' to take my throat, severin' my jugular and sendin' me to meet my creator! It was terrifyin'! In the blink of an eye and with considerable skill, I turned and fired upon that beast, strikin' him in the top of the head and sendin' him to a fate quite similar to that of his furry friend.
With the immediate threat of death evaded, I quickly scanned the area to confirm that there were no more beasts of demonic fury lurkin' in the shadows. Satisfied that all was safe, I sat back down, finished my glass of Garrison Brothers and called it a night. Sleep came fast and easy knowing that I'd thwarted my own death and saved the lives of my family... and most likely the entire planet... from certain and absolute destruction.
Alright then... Back to the facts...
So... I'm just sittin' there, lovin' life, God's creation and everything in it... 'cept maybe for liberal democrats. Don't hate 'em... I just don't love 'em. Anyway... I'm sittin' there, when all of a sudden, outta NOWHERE, comes these two MASSIVE, demonic-lookin' beasts... CLEARLY bent on doin' me harm!
Loaded Impact aside, I was caught COMPLETELY off-guard and unprepared. It was just like that scene from 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail', 'cept with TWO demonic bunnies! And wouldn't ya know it...? I'd left my Holy Hand Grenade in the house. You know how it is... You NEVER have it when ya need it... Anyway... Fortunately for me, I had the next best thing.
Somehow, I managed to quickly shoulder my weapon of furry demon destruction and acquire my target with impressive speed. I mean... It's not like I was already lookin' through my scope, stalkin' these creatures or anything... It wasn't that kinda night. Anyway... I caught the first one right behind the eye just before it turned and launched itself at me with a fury normally reserved for a rabid wolverine. Consequently, this sent him into a furious fit of bouncin' and kickin' around, which gave me the split second I needed to chamber another pellet in preparation for the second attack that I had no doubt was imminent.
Sure enough... Upon seein' his demon brother dispatched straight back to the fiery burrows of hell, the other ferocious monster turned and ROARED as it propelled itself at me, mouth open and teeth showin'! He was flyin' straight through the air with lightnin'-fast speed, clearly aimin' to take my throat, severin' my jugular and sendin' me to meet my creator! It was terrifyin'! In the blink of an eye and with considerable skill, I turned and fired upon that beast, strikin' him in the top of the head and sendin' him to a fate quite similar to that of his furry friend.
With the immediate threat of death evaded, I quickly scanned the area to confirm that there were no more beasts of demonic fury lurkin' in the shadows. Satisfied that all was safe, I sat back down, finished my glass of Garrison Brothers and called it a night. Sleep came fast and easy knowing that I'd thwarted my own death and saved the lives of my family... and most likely the entire planet... from certain and absolute destruction.
